“I don’t understand” | Crossing the Bridge, Part II

“I don’t understand” | Crossing the Bridge, Part II

Today we’re going to explore the first building block that comprises your ‘Coaching Bridge’ (introduced in Part I)

There’s a silent curse going around the coaching industry. Most coaches never realize how it’s affecting them. 

It’s the curse of:

“I don’t understand”

As in…

“I don’t understand how this works.”

“I don’t understand how you can help me.”

“I don’t understand if this is for me.”

The problem is, potential clients rarely vocalize this.

Instead, their actions say it.

By not becoming your client… 

Ignoring your emails…

Saying “that sounds interesting”…

…but then disappearing when you ask for the sale.

What’s happening here is that potential clients don’t understand the transformation that you help clients achieve. 

And the confused mind doesn’t buy.

Which is why your Transformation is the first building block of the Coaching Bridge.

“I don’t understand” | Crossing the Bridge, Part II

A huge part of attracting clients is being relevant. 

There’s a key concept from the world of copywriting that illustrates this.

“Enter the conversation going on in their minds.”

As humans, we spend 99% of our day thinking about ourselves. How we look. What’s on our plate today. How we feel about that stupid thing we said at the party last week. 

It’s a non-stop feed of stuff that we’re thinking about.

Which is why if you want someone’s attention, you have to match whatever’s going on between their ears.

Do you go around thinking, “everything sucks, I need to change my whole life and everything about myself and transform my mindset.”

No? Me neither. Few people do.

So if your message talks about “Transform your life! Change your mindset and improve your life.”

…your message is irrelevant to that person’s inner monologue.

Which is when you get ignored.

Instead, most people’s internal monologue is something more like…

“I wish my kids would listen to me and stop acting up all the time. They’re driving me crazy!”

So imagine you put a message in front of them that said:

“Kids driving you crazy? Finally, a way to get your kids to listen and behave themselves.”

And just like that you’ve entered the conversation in their minds. Now they’re paying attention to you.

That’s the power of speaking to a specific transformation.

Here’s another example.

Let’s say you’re a life coach who helps working professionals. A common pain point in this space is how people feel stuck in their work and don’t love their job.

But imagine, like many life coaches, you only speak about the transformation in broad terms. 

So you say things like:

“Live the life of your dreams!”

For someone stuck in their career, this kind of message is easy to ignore.

You want to help people achieve a meaningful result. Meaningful for them in their present moment. 

Here’s a good example I found online:

Career coaching and life coaching for people who want to do meaningful work

Check out the important piece:

“Find work you love that also pays well”

That’s a serious dream a lot of people have. 

And just like that, you have their attention.

So I’ve illustrated how important a specific transformation is.

Now let’s talk about how to actually figure out your transformation. This is my “Perfect Niche Trifecta”.

#1: Experience

You have experience with that niche, either personally or helping others. It could be that you've made the transformation yourself. Or that you've helped others make that transformation. 

Or, if you have a clear way to get experience in that niche, that could work too. The key is that you can share true stories about the transformation with prospective clients.

#2: Confidence

You feel confident in helping others with that niche. Now, I don't mean 100%, all the time confidence. No one has that. But it's going to be a tough uphill climb if you're starting at zero confidence with providing the transformation.

Think of it like this... you live in confidence and vacation in self-doubt every once in a while. 

And then finally…

#3: Meaningful

The transformation should be meaningful to you. You should really care about helping someone make this transformation.

This is super important because your long-term success is going to come from consistently showing up and helping people. So make sure it’s meaningful to you!

Finding this Trifecta is when the click came for me. I had the experience and the confidence. And helping warm-hearted caring coaches help others is incredibly meaningful for me.

Now there’s something important to understand about your transformation. And it goes back to what I said in Part I of this series:

Less, but better.

That means starting with ONE transformation. 

It’s easy to say but actually difficult to do. I struggled with it for years. I wanted to do all. the. Things. Just like you might.

But I double pinky-promise you, your life will be immeasurably easier if you pick just one.

You can do more later. But for now, pick one.

With love & joy,


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